Saturday, July 4, 2009

I Cry

I don't need a friend.
I just need Allah, my Love.
I also need my parents.

I know, people will never like my pace of life.
Ad nauseum, recluse, eccentric.
That's me.

My friends like laughing, having fun, being happy.
But I like crying, keeping myself home, being blue.
No one included my parents know that I'm a crying 'baby'.
I cry when I'm all alone in my room.
No one to soothe my feelings, but Allah.
Allah sees me, knows what is actually in my heart.
I know it's not that bad to cry.
Allah loves His servants to cry more than laugh.

I am a genuine actress.
I show a happy face outside the room.
But cry inside the room.
I am not crazy.
Cry does not always mean sadness.
Happiness can also make someone crying.
Every drop of tear is a witness of my emotion.

Dah lah...
Jangan asyik menangis je...
Bengkak dah mata tu.
Astaghfirullahal'azim...

I'm proud of being a Malaysian Muslim!

Malaysia today is not the same old Malaysia. It has been going through many steps of evolutions, thus, making it the most respectful developing country in the eyes of the world. It is not merely in an aspect of economics stability, but the success is measured ranging from political stability, Malaysians unity, environmental safety, religions and races sensitivity, educational integrity, as well as international diplomacy. It is true that this is the result of an efficient government that rules the country right now. Nevertheless, we can never deny that the folks also help in ensuring the success of Malaysia. The combination and alliance between government and folks form a smooth, nice structure of Malaysia.

Wherever I go in New Zealand, people can easily notice that I'm a Malaysian. Perhaps, the style I wear my scarves differentiate a Malaysian with Arabs and Indonesians. Most of the people I met up, they told me that they have been to Malaysia and they love Malaysia. Some of them like the foods because Malaysia offers varieties of delicious foods tho' a few are very sweet. Some others said that they love traveling all over Malaysia in that we have many unique attractions that give different experiences. There were four old folks I met during last eid. They like Malaysian costumes. They said our costumes are colourful and have beautiful patterns. The kiwi ladies like our scarves. Very modest, yet pretty. But don't be surprised to hear the reason why western men love Malaysians. Hehehe... Most of the men that I talked to, they told me that they dream of searching for Malaysian wives. I was speechless when I heard that. But I asked them to come to Malaysia and seek for the women they love to make as their wives. To my surprise, when I was in Christchurch City with a friend at Art Gallery, suddenly came an old man passing by us. Then, he reversed back to our seats and asked us about our nationality and the like. After that, he praised both of us. He said, "You both look so beautiful. I like your dress." After a while, he was about to dismiss, but not forgetting to shake hands with us. He even unwore his gloves to shake hands with us tho our hands were still covered with gloves (thank God). He added, "Nice meeting you girls!".

Alhamdulillah, all western people that I met up so far are all friendly to me, including my coursemates. They all smile when seeing me and say hi or hello. I like that way of relationship. Some of my coursemates can even remember my name and they say hi and smile to me whenever we see each other. Honestly, Malaysia is popular among international people. We display good behaviours to them. They like our national foods, costumes, and attitudes as well. Malaysia students are very popular in universities. People respect us and our country's name is always uttered in any occasions going on all around the globe. What more right at this time, when Obama himself praises Malaysia too much that he's considering of discussing world issues with Malaysia and would also like to know Malaysia notions about international issues. Many developing countries have made Malaysia as an example country. Malaysia has also become trusted by the first world countries. We should be thankful to Allah for showering Malaysia and its inhabitants with full of blessings. InsyaAllah, if Malaysia keeps spurring and standing on Islamic foundation, it's not impossible for Malaysia to be the most successful country in the world like Medina (during Prophet's time). While Islam is renowned as a terrorist religion by the Westerners, it's undeniable that many more people want to get to know in depth about Islam. Whatever people's opinions about Islam, as a Muslim we should always portray good attitudes and characteristics in front of those people. Our appearance is an external outlook of Islam itself. Don't make people confused about Islam. The confusion will only make people hate Islam.

I am proud to be a Muslim and a Malaysian! :) Thank you, Allah!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih


Tiba-tiba hati ini berasa sayu. Walau bagaimana kuat dan cekal aku menahan sebak di hati ini, namun kugagalkan jua. Aku tenang dan tersenyum mendengar cerita-cerita tentang pemergiannya daripada sahabat taulan. Mungkin aku boleh berpura-pura di depan mereka, tetapi aku tidak mampu menipu diriku dan Allah yang Maha Mengetahui. Terlalu banyak rahsia antara aku dan dia yang aku tak pernah bercerita kepada sesiapapun. Aku sempat meninggalkan beberapa baris kata sebelum pemergiannya. Pemergian itu bukanlah sementara tetapi untuk selama-lamanya (sekurang-kurangnya bagi diriku).
Aku bersyukur ke hadrat Ilahi kerana telah menemukan aku dan dia, lalu berhijrah dengan redha-Nya. Dia banyak memberi panduan untukku menjadi insan yang lebih baik. Namun begitu, pemergiannya diiringi pandangan-pandangan buruk tentang diriku. Memang sengaja aku buat begitu, biar terus pudar ingatannya tentang aku. Maaf 'awak' kerana saya tak mampu meneruskan perjuangan 'awak' di tempat ini. 'Awak' tak dapat memahami saya dan saya juga tak berupaya memahami 'awak'. Muslimin dan Muslimah lain di tempat ini akan meneruskan ijtihad 'awak' itu, insyaAllah. Selamat mendirikan baitulmuslim! Harapan saya agar 'awak' dapat melahirkan lebih ramai pejuang sepertimana yang 'awak' inginkan selepas ini.

"Bila kita rindukan seseorang itu, tak semestinya orang itu pun rindukan kita. Kalau rindu, tak semestinya perlu bersua kerana ingatan di qalbu itu boleh menjadi penawar jua. Sesungguhnya, rindu itu anugerah Allah. InsyaAllah."